Performing Arts, Humor, Theory, Quotations 

Chapter One: If You Can't Say Anything Nice"You're not a woman. You're a disease!"-Mike Connors, Where Love Has Gone (1964)"I thought you were a woman--but you're nothing but a career."-Sterling Hayden to Bette Davis, The Star (1952)"You're like some fancy kind of disease. I had it once--now I'm immune."-John Ireland to Joan Crawford, Queen Bee (1955)"Floozy! Floozy! Floozy!"-Carmen Miranda to Cobina Wright, Week-End in Havana (1941)"Usually, one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature."-John Gielgud, Arthur (1981)"Look, if you think you're gonna get back in my panties, forget it. There's one asshole in there already."-Kathleen Turner, Crimes of Passion (1984)"Anne Schuyler's in the Blue Book. You're not even in the phone book."-Edmund Breese, Platinum Blonde (1931)"You, you're forty-two. There are many good minutes left for you."-Milton Berle to Eleanor Parker, The Oscar (1960)"You probably haven't had a good lay in years. Your legs have been together longer than the Lennon Sisters."-Bette Midler, Stella (1990)"You know something, Hank? You're 90% man and 10% rat!"-Lana Turner, Love Has Many Faces (1965)"The stork that brought you must have been a vulture."-Ann Sheridan, Torrid Zone (1940)"You have the touch of a love-starved cobra."-Monty Woolley, The Man Who Came to Dinner (1941)"As long as they've got sidewalks, you've got a job."-Joan Blondell, Footlight Parade (1933)"You're still a little shop girl from San Francisco. You should've stayed on the other side of the counter."-Constance Bennett to Lana Turner, Madame X (1966)"There are only two things I dislike about you--your face."-Elizabeth Taylor to Kim Novak, The Mirror Crack'd (1980)Chapter Two: BetteSister number one (Bette Davis): "For someone who just buried her husband this morning, you don't seem very upset."Sister number two (also Bette Davis): "Phony mourning makes me sick!"-Bette Davis, Dead Ringer (1964)"I detest cheap sentiment."-Bette Davis, All About Eve (1 - from Amzon